Coping When a Parent Has an Alcohol or Drug Problem for Teens

After growing up in an atmosphere where denial, lying, and keeping secrets may have been the norm, adult children can develop serious trust problems. Broken promises of the past tell them that trusting someone will backfire on them in the future. Alcohol use disorder (AUD) is a chronic health condition that can have a serious impact on a person’s life. Alcoholism is called a family disorder because it affects everyone who cares about the addicted person. BetterHelp can connect you to an addiction and mental health counselor. Co-DA is a 12-step group where members support each other as they try to not only survive but thrive.

This article will discuss common characteristics of adult children of alcoholics and how to find help if you’re struggling with issues related to your upbringing. Dealing with a son or daughter who has an alcohol problem is stressful. It’s important to take care of yourself; your needs are important, and if you’re exhausted, it will also be much harder to be there for your child.

Support for Children of Alcoholics

If you think you or another family member could be in danger, call 911. This is because everyone around you can be affected by the disease. Talking to your parent about their alcoholism can get messy. However, there are things you can do to minimize conflict and get through to your parent. Ignoring it could lead to fractured relationships and complicated family problems.

• You might fear them getting angry, yelling at you, or getting violent.
• While the legal drinking age is 21 years old in the United States, alcoholic parents might not discipline children who consume alcohol at a younger age.
• Writing down your concerns in a list can help you organize your thoughts and feelings.
• Groups such as Co-Dependents Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous both run self-help and support groups for the loved ones of an alcoholic.
• This can correlate to drug abuse, alcohol abuse, bad performance in schools, and other problems.
• It may be beneficial for you to seek help from a mental health professional such as a psychiatrist, psychologist, or social worker.

Individual counseling can be a helpful way to make time for yourself, give you a place where you can talk about your feelings, and learn healthy ways of self-care. You could also attend mutual support groups for families and friends of people with alcohol problems, such as Al-Anon. AUD is a mental health condition that can prove very difficult to manage and overcome. In one study of over how alcoholic parents affect their children 25,000 adults, those who had a parent with AUD remembered their childhoods as “difficult” and said they struggled with “bad memories” of their parent’s alcohol use. This could even be experienced as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), similar to people who had different traumatic childhood experiences. Children of alcoholics need ongoing help just like their addicted parent does.

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If you take more than the recommended dose, you may experience withdrawal symptoms. If they confide in you and you feel it is best to speak to a third party, explain to the child that you are doing this to help them. Even if the child is upset or angry with you, continue to offer unconditional love and support. Reach out to us today by filling out the contact form below with your name, contact information, and a brief message about your recovery journey. If your story is chosen, a member of our team will reach out to you. We may receive advertising fees if you follow links to promoted online therapy websites.

As a result, many will end up feeling conflicted, confused, and self-conscious when they realize that drinking is not considered normal in other families. These effects can last long into adulthood and make it difficult for adult children to have healthy relationships. The ACA has group meetings (based on the 12-step principles of “Alcoholics Anonymous”) that are specifically designed to help adult children overcome the lasting damage of parental drinking. You can talk with a healthcare professional if you’re unsure where to start. They may be able to recommend the next steps, including referring you to a mental health professional if necessary.

Step 3: Take care of yourself

Even long after leaving your parent’s home, you could still be dealing with the aftermath of their alcohol addiction. Adult children of alcoholics tend not to expect recognition of important life https://ecosoberhouse.com/article/how-long-does-cocaine-stay-in-your-system/ milestones. They learn to bury their feelings and struggle to express themselves in healthy ways. Parents of children can become alcoholics before their child is born or after a child is born.

Remarkably, the children learned to differentiate between the effects of low-alcohol beer, strong beer, wine, and liquor by identifying bottles, cans, or labels. The children also diluted, hid, or poured out the alcohol—another effort at control. All of the children described how they understood—even as young as age five—that their alcohol-dependent parent’s behavior changed when they drank, sometimes in conjunction with drugs. A picture of the parent’s “two faces” emerged, contrasting “the sober parent” with “the drunk parent.” In order to pursue this inquiry, Hagströma and Forinder analyzed the narratives of 19 children between the ages of six and eleven.

Phone, Video, or Live-Chat Support

Research shows that daughters of alcoholics are more likely to marry alcoholic men. “If we have learned as children to love someone with addiction, we will tend to unconsciously seek that out,” O’Gorman says. People who have parents with substance use problems are at higher risk of having these problems too. A support group or therapy can help you learn how to avoid this risk. Living with a parent who has a substance use problem is hard. All participants attempted to control what and how much their parents drank—and anticipated how drunk they would get.

• These school issues can also create social problems for children.
• “In this process, you’ll process unresolved traumatic experiences and develop tools to formulate healthy relationships and communicate your needs,” she explains.
• Some children have dealt with their parent’s alcoholism since the time they were born.
• Alcohol becomes such a large part of a person’s life; it is hard to fill the void it leaves when a person starts treatment.
• Pregnant mothers can also abuse alcohol, which can lead to negative health effects like fetal alcohol syndrome.